Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Come To Me

About these things called love, sex and addiction... Isn't it quite interesting that when someone decides to make a documentary on love addiction, and the SVT (Swedish Television) decides to show it... Four out of five of these love addicts turn out to be women. Most of the time the male partners of these women are accidentally filmed at the periphery, as bystanders. Even though their relationships with these women seem to be as extreme as those of the main characters - their girlfriends. (Off course this excludes the poor guy who is stalked like if he is a Hollywood star throughout the documentary.) Dox: Love addict på SVT Play I find this interesting since the same perspective can be found when looking at sex addiction, but reversed. I can´t remember many movies or documentaries where sex addicts have not been men, or women have not been the passive bystanders honoring their wifely mission. I can´t help myself from wondering whether this view on sex and love addiction, male and female addiction, are socially constructed documentarian truths or actual biological facts. That women, tend to be love addicts in the same extent as men tend to be sex addicts. And that as few women there are to be found among sex addicts, as few men are there to be found among love addicts. A biological scenario which I find very unlikely and highly socially constructed. In fact it is more probable that people simply find it comforting that all women are portrayed as possible crazy, stalking, romantic bitches. Addicts to the idea of love. Addicts to the idea of coupling. Phobia of being alone. And it is in fact much more probable that people find it quite comforting that all men are portrayed as sex addicts. Because in this comforting fantasy, to the extreme, rape and rapists makes so much more sense: - She said I could do whatever I wanted to. - She was in love with me. - She's a woman. Raping a woman is not the unreasonable in this fantasy. In this fantasy women have no actual reason and men cannot help themselves... Source: Not a good reason Makers of these documentaries, where the chosen perspective doesn't instantly hit us as angled or leading (we see them as true pictures of reality) may not knowingly construct a moral comfort zone. But all women, all feminists and all the people who find this moral comfort zone to be legally and morally inhibitory have anyhow responsibility. A responsibility to at least, at the very minimum, raise their voice to concern. To hand a pinch of clarity to those who might not have queertopian awareness. Even if that clarity just reaches to the person you are sharing the sofa with when watching the documentary Dox: love addict.

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